WELLSWORLD

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When I was a senior in high school we went on one of those trips to NYC to see a Broadway show called Aida. This was the second time I was ever in the big city and the first time I ever saw someone pee on a wall.
  I found the show Aida super cheesy, predictable, and up-its-own-ass. I later learned those are all prerequisites to creating any musical. During this outing we were privileged to have a Q and A with one of the main actresses from the show who confused herself with a real celebrity. She bragged about how she used to be a Christian from Kentucky and how New York City “broadened her” and how she had to “pay her dues” . This is code for sucking on someone’s penis to get places you want to be.  I have not yet attempted this approach. My fellow students and I were fascinated by how exciting and worldly she was, because the biggest celebrities in our town were just drug dealers.

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A friend of mine who wanted to pursue acting was smitten by her. With a great amount of dramatization, she even told him she liked his attitude and knew he would make it in acting. But she said that because she could not see his real future of making a porno in college giving up on acting and then pursuing holistic medicine. 

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I really wanted to be an actor too and I was really jealous of my friend for lots of reasons so right now I was jealous this attention he was getting. So I needed to ask something good. I was too nervous to raise my bony hand during the main question time so I waited until she was standing around after.  It went something like this…

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Me: Excuse me, I am Matt.

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Actress: Hello Matt. 

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Me: Hi. I’m Matt. I act in plays at our school and I had a question.

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Actress: Ok. I have to go soon so-

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Me: Right. Sorry. Just real quick. My question is I wanted to know if it’s ever hard to keep shows interesting for yourself night after night. We do three performances at my school and by the third one, I find it hard to keep it interesting. Do you ever have that problem… keeping things interesting?

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[pause. She stared at me. She began to look more animated.]

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Actress: You are pursuing the wrong field. You can’t keep “ENTERTAINED” after just three nights? of performing? HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO MAKE IT IN THE WORLD… OF DRAMA?!

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[my fellow students start to crowd in and my drama teacher is sighing in anger mad at my honest question.]

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Actress: I mean [she touches my arm the way people do when they are being passive aggressive] I’m not trying to be mean I’m just saying…. This doesn’t sound like…[squeezes my arm] the right road for you. 

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[she looked around to my teacher who nodded in solemn agreement]
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Drama Teacher: She’s right. That’s not the right mentality for a serious actor..

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[In a tailspin I look to my friend who was also interested in acting but now does holistic medicine]

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Me: But dude.. you said the same thing right…?

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[he did.]

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Friend: Well I said… something but I mean.. a serious actor has to.. No never said that.

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She sauntered out as my drama teacher glared at me fidgetting his sweaty neurotic hands. After her boring Broadway show,  we caught her outside. For some reason I thanked her for what she said.  I thought she was a smart person because I was in high school and she worked in show business. I told her she gave me a wakeup call. Judging by her blank stare, I’m pretty sure she didn’t even remember what she said.

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I know now that she is in need of her own wake-up call that she is a washed up diva who just wanted to hurt a teenagers feelings because actresses hearts are black. Black as the most burned pizza.